Always Erected

Personal relationships can be seriously compromised by a continuing sexual problem. Such sexual dysfunction can cause terrible distress and can disrupt or even spell the end of personal relationship, regardless of which partner has the problem. Sexual dysfunction may be caused through physical problems but anxiety will often aggravate the dilemma.

Sexual relationships are never entirely simple but they are very important and a source of much happiness for those in long term relationships. Many things, both physical and psychological, can go wrong and can threaten the fibre of the relationship if not dealt with in a proper manner.

It is important for people to have some knowledge of what can impact on failure to achieve satisfactory sexual fulfillment. Such things can be caused by physical problems on the part of either partner or may be psychosomatic. Whatever the case, the problem affects both partners as such a relationship involves intense emotions and other mental factors. Factors such as faulty expectations, poor communication of sexual needs, ignorance, and concern over ability to perform can affect sexual function and satisfaction.

Male Sexual Dysfunction

Male dysfunction is most commonly in the form of the inability to achieve an erection or the inability to maintain an erection sufficiently to allow normal intercourse. This condition is known as impotence and can cause great distress to the male, not only because it prevents satisfying sexual intercourse but also because many men think it indicates a lack of masculinity.

Most men suffer episodes of impotence at some time and these episodes are almost always of a psychological origin. Very few are attributable to disease and those cases that are, are usually among older men. Psychogenic impotence happens quite often because of performance anxiety. However, the majority of women do not place a great deal of importance on the occasional episode of impotence and are usually sympathetic and understanding rather than critical of their partner. They do not normally see it as a deficiency in the man’s masculinity. Sometimes, organic impotence can be helped by drugs like Viagra. In fact, it was only when Viagra was introduced to the market, the true prevalence of erectile dysfunction was revealed.

Premature ejaculation, as its name implies, is when the male orgasm happens too early, thus depriving both partners of sexual satisfaction. This can even happen before penetration and is normally due to excessive excitement. This is fairly common in inexperienced men but will settle down as they become more sexually skilled.

There is also a condition called Priapism that is potentially dangerous to the man. It is a rare condition in which the erection does not subside after he reaches orgasm. It is important that he seek immediate treatment as the blood in the penis will usually clot after about four hours, forming damaging internal scar tissue. The condition is usually treated by draining the blood under anaesthesia. Priapism has been known to be caused by drug abuse.

Another disorder of the penis is Peyronie’s disease of which the cause is unknown. This disorder is characterized by a thickening and rigidity of tissue, resulting in a bend in the penis on erection. This can interfere with normal intercourse by causing discomfort to both partners. It may also prevent sexual intercourse from happening at all. The condition is often helped by steroid injections but surgical removal of the thickened areas is usually needed.

Female Sexual Dysfunction

Due to unrealistic expectations, many men see women who fail to achieve orgasm as being frigid. However, this often occurs because of a lack of affectionate expression by the partner, or a lack of sexual understanding and skill. Of course, there are other causes such as fear of pregnancy, recent childbirth, dyspareunia (pain during intercourse), and some prescription drugs. Drugs prescribed to treat conditions such as depression, insomnia, or high blood pressure can prevent female orgasm. Approximately ten percent of women will never achieve orgasm and around half never experience orgasm during sexual intercourse due to insufficient foreplay. Men often see the lack of female orgasm as a criticism of their own masculinity.

Additional Sexual Problems

Dyspareunia is the medical terminology for painful sexual intercourse which may be of physical or psychological origin. For instance, a woman who has recently had an episiotomy repair following childbirth will suffer from dyspareunia if she engages in sexual intercourse too soon. It may also be caused by infections in the uterus or the vagina or from rare congenital defects in the vagina.

Pain can also be psychological and can be experienced because of fear or anger. It can also be an instinctive tactic to avoid unwanted sex. There is also an extreme condition called vaginismus which is an involuntary rejection of sexual intercourse and is difficult to treat.

Sexual Therapy

Those who suffer from any of the conditions mentioned may benefit from a referral to a therapist who will discuss treatment and options.

Therapy can help couples overcome their fears of communicating sexual needs and their fear of rejection by their partner by using behavior therapy such as sensate focusing. This is generally a set of exercises that teach the partners to enjoy general body sensuality without intercourse. These exercises encourage a couple to enjoy body contact and sexual versatility and can help to overcome shyness which is sometimes still felt after many years of being together.

Sexual intercourse is far more than a way of reproduction and includes intense emotions of attraction, love, and desire. These emotions generally begin in adolescence. When a loving bond is formed between two partners, it is important to look after that bond in any way possible.